After living with my daughter-in-law, I realized two things, a 61-year-old woman said
As the saying goes, “If there is an old man in a family, if there is a treasure”, for young people, especially office workers, having an old man around to take care of them, will indeed feel much more relaxed.But what of the gains for the old man himself?Li, 61, has been staying at her son’s home since she retired six years ago.Of course, she’s not there to enjoy her fortune, but to take care of her two grandchildren.Li was a college teacher, and the school had wanted to rehire her after she reached retirement age.But just that year, the daughter-in-law gave birth to the eldest brother, looking at two young people to go to work and take care of grandchildren, Li Aunt can not bear the heart, so she agreed to her son’s request, refused the school rehire, came to her son’s home to concentrate on taking baby.The daughter-in-law’s maternity leave lasts only a few months, so she went to work before the baby was six months old.Many days she and her grandson are the only two people in the house. From 5:30 in the morning, Li starts her busy day.In order to make her daughter-in-law sleep well at night and not affect the next day’s work, Li took the baby to sleep with her every night after her daughter-in-law went to work.If the baby wants to drink milk at midnight, she will hold the baby in front of her daughter-in-law, waiting for the baby to drink milk and then hold back.After all this, Aunt Li couldn’t rest well at night.But the next morning, she had to go out to buy vegetables while the baby was still awake and cook breakfast for her son and daughter-in-law.When the son and daughter-in-law went to work, Aunt Li had to take the baby to eat together, and then play with the baby, there is no time to rest, after all, the baby is too small, can not leave people.At 10 o ‘clock, Aunt Li had to rush to do lunch, because her son and daughter-in-law had to come back to eat at noon.She has to put the baby to sleep before doing so. Otherwise, she can only put him in the cradle, which is placed by the kitchen door, and play with him while cooking.In the afternoon, the baby usually sleeps for a while, but Aunt Li has to take advantage of this time to do housework, cleaning, there is no time to take a nap.Because usually when she’s done, the baby wakes up.Then I have to play with the baby and prepare dinner.In the evening, when her son and daughter-in-law got off work, they either had to work overtime at home or lay in bed so tired that Aunt Li had to clean the POTS and pans.Then Aunt Li has to coax the baby to sleep, if the baby does not sleep late, she also has to take the baby to play.It wasn’t until about 10 o ‘clock in the evening, after the baby fell asleep, that she could have some time for herself. But at that time, Li had no energy to do other things and was already drowsy.Such a day endured for nearly three years, it was not easy to wait for the baby to go to kindergarten, Aunt Li felt able to relax a little, daughter-in-law pregnant and gave birth to two children.The only difference was that li only had to take care of one child before, but now she had to take Erbao to pick up Dabao from school, becoming even busier.If she was willing to pay for her grandson, then her daughter-in-law’s attitude made Her deeply hurt.Not only does the daughter-in-law have no understanding of feelings, but she is always picky about her aunt, not just because she does not take care of the children well, but because her food is not suitable and she always finds some trouble every day.After years of living with her daughter-in-law, Aunt Li finally understood these two things.We often say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but the saying can be applied to many relationships, and the same can be said of the elderly and their children.If conditions permit, the elderly and their children should not live under the same roof as far as possible. After all, there will be differences between the two sides in various aspects such as ideology and living habits, which will easily lead to conflicts.The children can visit the elderly on weekends or holidays, and the elderly can also lend a helping hand to the children when they need help.But even if it is to help their children take care of their children, they can also go out early and come back late, or leave their children to their children on weekends, so as not to overlap their lives as far as possible.Don’t unconditionally pay as the saying goes that a bucket of rice to raise a benezer, a stone of rice to raise an enemy, although the elderly are love children, but also should not unconditionally pay all for children.For example, take their own time and energy, affixed to their own retirement salary, wholeheartedly on the children and grandchildren, which will cultivate a Wolf without eyes.The elderly should have their own life and space, should be conditional pay, so as to let the children know the importance of the elderly, to understand the elderly is not easy, so as to give the elderly the necessary respect.